Ugh… The sound of frustration.

I’m struggling with conflicting states of being. What I want to do and what I actually do are some how not on the same page and it’s driving me crazy. I feel disconnected from myself and worn out.

  • Example… I want to wake up early and go to the gym. What actually happens? I hit snooz twice after I mentally beat myself up for not getting out of bed and “just going” cuz after all what’s the big deal?

I’ve read enough books on habbits and how the mind works so I get it. It’s difficult to be any other way than what you’ve been most of the time. But, fuck! Even with the understanding and insights I’ve gained from reading this and that it really does come down to “just doing it.”

But I fucking love cookie dough! Don’t do it… Just dont do it!

I hate getting out of bed when it’s still dark in the morning. Just do it! Just fucking do it!

Not gonna lie, life just seems like it would be so much easier if my head and my body were on the same page. All the motivational videos on YouTube will tell you that “you gotta want it bad enough” or you gotta “know your WHY.” The problem with this is that if any of it is true then it means the reason I’m not doing the things “I want to do” is because one, I don’t want it bad enough. Or two, I dont know why I want it… That’s simply way to complicated. Who doesnt want great health and a great body. I for sure want it… and yet I still dont get up in the morning to go to the gym… So what of that?

Ugh… The sound of frustration. And I still haven’t figured out how to turn on the spell check function on my new computer… Ugh.